Tie Me Down

Hi All!
   I have no time to write a lengthy post soooo I will leave you a poem I wrote the other day. It came to me when I was snug in my warm bed with heavy comforter on top of me, weighing me down. Enjoy!


I should tie a weight to my ankles to keep me down
It wouldn't make much of a difference
I could float up and up to the heavens in my head
Happiness and joy would take me there
I could float higher and higher to get away
I've been told I dream aloud
With stars in my eyes
They tell me I need to calm it down
And I've tried, but I'm still letting myself go
So I need a heavy weight to keep me protected and limitless on the groundWith the family and friends that I have found

Don't be shallow when you can be as deep as the sea.
-Stella 

How to Save a Life

Hello my little Stellettes!

     Yes, I have given my readers a name. And by readers I mean my 1 friend that reads these posts...*Shoutout to Colette!!* Today, I wanted to make a quick post about organ donation. I am going to be giving a persuasive speech about the topic in my Communication class on Thursday. I want my organs/tissue to be donated when I pass away and I hope that you will donate yours too!

 

    I mean come on, you won't need them once you are gone! Unless you believe in an afterlife...but seriously, if given the chance, wouldn't you want to save a life?? Exactly! That is what you would be doing if you became an organ donor. According to organdonor.gov,"Each day, an average of 79 people receive organ transplants. However, an average of 18 people die each day waiting for transplants that can't take place because of the shortage of donated organs." 18 is an incredibly large number for deaths that could have possibly been prevented.

    My mother doesn't like the idea of becoming an organ donor...I need to persuade her...and I'm sure many others are not aware of the help that they could be giving someone in need. However, not every registered organ donor that dies donates their organs. If you die as a result of something other than an irreparable neurological injury, than your organs cannot be used. It is possible that they can be taken for science, I suppose. But anyway, I need to get back to writing my outline. I hope I didn't make organ donation a scary topic and I hope that if you still are shaky about your decision you go to http://donatelife.net/understanding-donation/organ-donation/ to get your questions answered. Give someone a second chance at life if you can!  

A long life is in store for those that never stop laughing once the joke is over. 

-Stella

Obsessed with an Idiot

Hi!
    I should start by coming clean and telling you all that I have yet to start my diet and exercise plan that I spoke about yesterday....go ahead, judge me! Call me a fat, indecisive, fool! ha ha okay that was too much. Never mind my big vow to lose weight. I will begin when I am ready, I suppose. And when will that be Stell?? Oh god, I don't know, sheesh stop asking me!

   *Transitions into today's topic*  I always find myself obsessing over the wrong type of guys. I am 18 and still waiting for my first boyfriend. There, I said it! Is that a shame or a badge of honor? I think it's a good thing because it shows that I have morals and a high standard for my man. Ha! Sike, that just means that ain't nobodeh interested in my 'ol tired behind! I haven't met a guy that was genuinely interested in me. I hardly even speak to members of the opposite sex!

   I guess I chose to post about this today because I just got finished watching a few youtube videos published by my lasted obsession. Yes, I found his YT videos. Shame! I may be a bit of a stalker but I have learned a lot about him without having to have an awkward conversation. I say that I find myself obsessing over the wrong kind of guys because this latest one acts very verryyy stupid. He just has this dumb, stoner act thing going on. I hope that it is just an act, but I really do not know. He also has an affinity for the n-word! wth!? It is always something! I have seen him say it (a few minutes ago via the video and on twitter) *A quick fact, I sit next to him in class*...does he ever want to say it to my face? *Another quick fact, I am an African American woman* No matter if he smiles, or passes me the attendance sheet, he enjoys spewing out the racial slur. Which automatically makes him a terrible person, right?

  The worst part about it is that even though he isn't the best guy on any level, I feel like I'm not good enough for him! I always feel this way. When I think about it, I am always above the guys that I crush on. Not to be narcissistic, but it is true. I just can't seem to shake this 'not worthy' feeling. I know that I am a messy person, but at the same time I am 'gone with the wind' fabulous! I am trying to forget about this obvious fool of a person but I can't. There is something about his goofy face. ugh. I am a complete mess. I mean he seems nice enough but I am certain he views me as less than human although we chat a little in class. Will I ever feel better about myself when it comes to guys? I think I need communication experience, time, and the best kind of guy to involve myself with in order to tell.


The time we spend worrying would be better spent being happy. Smiles trump frowns, always.
-Stella

Weighing In On the Issue

Hello!
    In the first post I wrote about 'becoming a better me' and all that blah blah blah. I had a doctors visit today  and I decided that I am going to start....tomorrow. I want to lose weight again. Not only lose weight but also become a healthier person. I have already consumed Doritos, cookies, and even had a mini ice cream party with my sister (straight out of the carton grubbing too! mess!). So, it will all begin tomorrow. I am ready to get back on track and get fit.

   Last spring until summer, lost about 14 lbs but I have gained 10 of them back already! I know what I need to do but I just cannot control my eating sometimes. I have always been chubby. Even when I was younger my dad would call me "Basketball" because of my round stomach! haha. He called my sister "String bean"...you can tell that my sister obviously has a slender physique. However, I have just started to accept my body. Everyone is different and I should love the skin I am in. I mean, I have always loved myself but not always the fat that clung to me.

  I WILL start tomorrow. Even if I just start getting my diet under control or an exercise plan. I will start tomorrow! Ladies, it is not too late for your summer body! I want a summer body that will last and last. This is not going to be just a 'get skinny and then quit' sort of thing, this will be a lifestyle change. I know I will trip, stumble, and fall but, I WILL get back on my feet and stay on track. I am determined to turn things around and transform myself into a healthy, fit, happier person. I am excited to start this journey and I am happy to say that my mother is going to join me! Anyone else in??

Updates to come, stay tuned!

You do not need to wish yourself to be a beautiful sculpture. You simply need to become the beautiful sculpture. Chip and chisel away.
-Stella

Magnetic Poetry and Sundresses on Rainy Days

Happy Thursday Everyone!
    Please don't hate me for being so cheery on a Thursday but Thursdays are my Fridays! (he he he) I have decided to try to post everyday! I don't know how long that will last ha ha. Anyways, today I will tell to you all about magnetic poetry and sundresses on rainy days...

   I don't know if you are aware, but April is national poetry month! In an attempt to get college kids interested in poetry, my school library set out a small magnetic board and a plethora of little magnetic words. They said that if we created a poem on the board, it could be posted on the library blog. So, while I was waiting for a friend, with nothing else to do, I hesitantly made my way over to the magnetic board to create a short but cute poem for all to see.
   
    I think I stood there arranging and rearranging tiny words for a good 10 minutes, all the while people passed by trying to figure out was on earth I was doing. When I was finally done, I left the library confident with my work. Later on in the day returned to the library somewhat expecting my poem to be gone because you know, plenty of students could have taken down my work to make their own. That would have been fine and dandy if the librarian or WHOEVER runs the blog had already taken a picture of it, written it down...SOMETHING. (Sigh) So, the mini board was cleared off and I hoped that it would make it on the blog in the days to come. I was sadly mistaken. I waited and waited, refreshing the library blog page for days and nothing. There was nothing. Until, I checked today. Finally, someone had posted a slide show of the poems!! I pressed play faster than any video enthusiast could have and was utterly horrified. The eight poems that were displayed before me were so bad. So so bad. Not to mention, MINE WAS NOWHERE TO BE FOUND.

    I know I sound angry...hell, I am angry! Someone must have quickly taken down my poem before anyone had a chance to record it. (sad face) But, it's okay. I am fine. It's whatever. Those eight poems were really a joke though...

    Moving on from that mess, this morning was a rainy morning. When I say rainy, I mean it was pouring during my ride into school. It was just my luck too because I was wearing a sundress. A sundress that I had been dying to wear. Unfortunately, I must have misread weather.com because I did not know about the rain. There I was looking like a complete fool donning a sundress with not a ray of sun shinning down. As I sat shivering in math class, I wrote this poem. (magnetic poetry redemption??) Here it is:

She brought an umbrella for the sun, not the rain
But of course it poured all day and brought on the pain
In class she sat with a wet back and damp hair
While no one else seemed to care
focused and covered, they all sat still
while she was sadly, left with a chill
There were raindrops on her eyelashes weighing her down and her legs were exposed 
And if the forecast said it would rain, would she still have worn her summer dress? Nobody knows...

The sun did come out later though, and I was in my element. :) Well I hope the sun is shinning wherever you are when you read this and that it doesn't ever rain on your parade ha ha! Anyways, goodbye until the next post!

You never know what you'll get until you get it. Whatever it is, it will be worth the wait. You are strong enough to handle anything, you just have to have faith.
-Stella  
   

Hello to You and Hello to the New Me

Hello, whoever you are!
        I guess I should start this off by saying hello! I am an 18 year old college freshman that loves to dabble in anything creative. So, with the help of my best friend, I have created this lovely little blog. At least it will be lovely when I have more posts..I would like to let anyone reading this know that I am the biggest mess ever and when I'm not just quickly posting an idea, telling a story, or giving my two cents, I will mostly likely be posting a description of some random awkward encounter or thing that has recently occurred in my life. Please, bare with me. I may also write reviews of some sort, discuss style trends, or maybe even give advice? As you can see, I am all over the place, which is how I am on the regular. I enjoy writing, dancing, singing, being a mess...yes, being a mess. You can't hide who you are! I have come to discover that you cannot run from who you are or try to be someone else, but you can tweak yourself and become who you were meant to be. Maybe this will be somewhat of a journal for me to post self improvement progress for me to look back on...there are some things that I would like to change about myself and maybe if you stick around, you will discover that you aren't being your true self either. Anyways, nice meeting you and I hope you enjoy the posts to come! I think I will end each post with some sort of inspirational message that I think of because, you know, who couldn't use a little inspiration in their lives?

Stand in the light or stay in the dark!
-Stella